I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
