just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
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It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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