If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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