So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
is that a dick in a sweater?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
