I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
