And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
