Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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