Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
