Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
