You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she looked like the before picture.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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