Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
