Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They took my balls.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
