Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
