the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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