he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
