Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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