Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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