I want to make a zoo with you.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
