she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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