I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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