im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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