How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
