i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
