New low: just hacked my moms facebook
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The power of my boobs compel you
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
