my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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