the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
