I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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