I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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