Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I smell stomach acid.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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