I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
