Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
