It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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