You work out of a Hotel?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
