What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
