So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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