in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
