She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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