Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
