3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize