Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
