hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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