True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
