I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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