I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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