I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize