I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
