You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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