so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
