Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Who died my cat blue again?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
