There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
