Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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