I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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