Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
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my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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