eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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