$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
