Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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