so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
