I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
