Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
