so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
