the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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