Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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