Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think a kid would responsible me up
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
