I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
