I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
