Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
