Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
